Struggling to navigate a relationship with a new baby?
Don’t worry so many of us are in the same boat or have been at some point. The crazy part… NO ONE talks about it.
Adding a baby to your family is supposed to be an exciting time. But with this comes huge changes and new (very cute) responsibilities.
So today we are going to talk about the 10 BEST tips for ensuring a healthy relationship after having a baby.
Make sure you grab our hospital bag packing list! You won’t miss a thing that way…
What You Didn’t Know About Relationships After A Baby
To navigate a relationship after a baby is no easy feat. There are so many changes after a baby. It is such an exciting yet challenging time. Learning how t navigate your relationship takes time.
So always remember it is just a season that you are doing this for. Keeping the end in mind may help you stay focused on getting through the next challenge.
It is hard enough to remember to even eat in the early days of having a newborn baby. So remembering to take care of yourself let alone your relationship can get put on the back burner.
Forgetting your relationship in the early days of a new baby is totally normal. Trust me, it happens to the best of us.
It’s just a temporary phase. Take some time for yourselves, even if it’s just a quick date night or a stolen moment during nap time. Remember, you’re in this together, and your relationship will only grow stronger as you navigate the beautiful chaos of parenthood.
So cut yourselves some slack, laugh at the chaos, and cherish the precious moments with your little one.
To learn to navigate a relationship with a new baby is really based on understanding overwhelm.
Overwhelming can be a totally common feeling in parenthood. It can feel really hard to be a good parent when you feel like that.
The first 3 months for me just felt like they flew by, in hindsight I was probably mostly overwhelmed and super touched out. That is ok though because I did the best I could in that time.
Learning to recognize when you feel overwhelmed or overstimulated is super important. By noticing you feel like that you could ask your partner for a break. This is going to hopefully help you be a bit less snappy with each other.
Recognizing overwhelm in the early days and talking or doing something about it can drastically help you keep things calm.
Confidence is something you wouldn’t think would be an issue with a new baby. But it totally is. Remembering you are in a team when you feel like your partner might be better at you at changing a nappy can feel really tough.
There are loads of hormones floating around so adding that to a lack of sleep can make it feel like you aren’t as good as your partner.
I want you to please keep building their confidence but make sure you tell them you don’t feel like you are doing as well. They may have some helpful advice or they may just tell you you are doing amazing!
Together Rather Than Against Each Other
Again it is so important to realize that when you work together having a young baby is so much easier. If you constantly work together everything can feel so much more manageable.
A problem shared is a problem halved. This is so important to remember when learning to navigate your relationship after a new baby.
Nothing is a competition with your baby so always try really hard to do things as a team. This is going to help you both feel better and in turn, make you better parents.
There is NO competition when it comes to your baby. She doesn’t love you or your partner more. She is going to love you both so much as he grows so just remember that there is no use creating angst over a baby who just loves food.
It is also so important to remember if you have breastfeeding women or bottle-fed, it isn’t going to change the relationship you have with your baby.
Breastfed, or bottle-fed, is the time you put in with your baby doing nappy changes, playing, and reading to them. That is what really matters.
The biggest thing that is going to make your life easier is communication. None of us are mind readers.
Tell your partner how you feel, what you need, or any troubles you are having.
They can only help if they know what is going on for you. If you don’t want help just someone to listen, tell them that too.
Do Relationships Last After Having A Baby?
Navigating a relationship with a new baby can be tough but is totally doable.
The answer to this question is completely up to you. I heard on The Unplanned Podcast I think it was about understanding that the first year is going to be tough and you just need to decide you are going to get through it.
I think this is great advice. Knowing so many people go through a very similar season after having a baby and accepting that it could be tough is a great first step into managing your relationship well for years to come.
How To Navigate A Relationship With A New Baby Tip 1 – Schedule In Quality Time
It sounds kind of silly! In the early days though all you will be worried about is changing the baby, feeding the baby, burping the baby, take the baby for a walk.
THEN feed yourselves, sleep, or shower! Make it a part of your routine to actually spend some quality time together.
For me and my partner in the earliest weeks after our daughter, we would put her down at 9, then we would watch Yellowstone together and try to give each other a cuddle.
It worked well and just gave us quiet neutral time together.
Tip 2 – Try To Have Grace
Having Grace – To go easy on someone or something.
Having grace in the early days for yourself, and for each other is so important. The reality is when you feel hormonal, sleep deprived, yet happy, you are not always going to be able to be at your best.
S**t happens. Don’t forget that, you are going to forget things or do things wrong and maybe even be a little bit grumpy.
Being able to have grace for your partner with them having the same for you is so important in just being that bit gentler on each other.
Tip 3 – Be Honest About What You Need
Simply asking for what you need is going to make your life in the early days so much easier. There is so much going on in the early days, both you and your partner are going to be tired and not as aware.
It is important to remember at this time to ask each other for things.
It is as simple as asking for a glass of water, asking if you can have a shower, or asking your partner to soothe the baby if you need 10 minutes to wind down from feeling overstimulated.
Simply ask. Even when it feels hard.
Tip 4 – Remember Before Your Baby There Was Your Partner
As parents but especially as mothers, we become so laser-focused on caring for our baby, sometimes our partner may feel like they’ve been forgotten in general.
They might start to feel a bit disgruntled or envious of the baby because without them the baby wouldn’t be here in the first place.
It is important to be gentle with your partner if they mention feeling this way. You need to make the effort with them without compromising caring for your baby. This will feel daunting, but will get easier.
How To Navigate A Relationship With A New Baby Tip 5 – Stop, And Listen
Sometimes making life easier is as simple as stopping and slowing down. You might just be so busy changing nappies, sleeping, and feeding. That you actually don’t realize you have forgotten to simply listen.
We all do it but sometimes it is good to just stop. Listen. Even just giving your partner an INTENTIONAL hug for a good 30 seconds might just help ground you.
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Tip 6 – Tell Your Partner What You Struggle With
Navigating a relationship with a new baby can be as simple as if you are finding something really tough like;
- Maybe breastfeeding is hurting
- Or you feel sad that you couldn’t breastfeed
- You feel super tired and feel like you need a break
- You feel really anxious about harm happening to your baby
You might find they are feeling similar things. Maybe they struggle to change nappies because they don’t know if they are gentle enough.
If you are struggling with something tell your partner, they may be struggling too, or maybe they can help!
Tip 7 – Get Your Baby Out For A Walk Together
Outside is so good for you, your baby, and your partner.
If you haven’t got a pram then get a wrap or carrier or the other way around. Simply going for a walk with your young baby together (they will usually sleep) can be a great de-stressor and quiet time.
Plus if your baby does sleep it could be a great opportunity to see if you guys think you’re doing good or could work on something!
Tip 8 – If You Feel You Or Your Partner May Have PND Or PNA
If you or your partner are experiencing the below symptoms, never hesitate to support each other to reach out for help.
Remember both mums and dads may experience these symptoms and the best thing to do is talk to your GP. support your partner in this situation and educate yourself on how you can help.
Simply having a partner who will come to the GP can make you feel really supported and is a great help.
Know you are there for your partner no matter how long it takes them to feel more normal.
Tip 9 – Make Sure To Eat And Drink Well
You aren’t going to sleep well… lol. Well, maybe you will!
So eating and drinking well is so so important. Preparing meals before you have your baby is a great option. You may be lucky and have family who might cook for you!
A really great option is figuring out a routine that works best for you and your little family on who cooks, who cleans, and who takes care of the baby.
Make it flexible, but having a rough plan can make you feel and be more ready for all the challenges of the day when you are so tired.
How To Navigate A Relationship With A New Baby Tip 10 – Realize Life Isn’t Always 50/50
I swear navigating a relationship with a new baby is a process of realizing that life isn’t 50/50.
Being a parent is all about understanding that life doesn’t always divide itself evenly. Sometimes it’s more like 80/20, with one parent picking up the slack for the other. It’s a give and take, a balancing act that requires flexibility and teamwork.
As a parent, you learn to adapt and support each other, even when things get imbalanced. It’s not always easy, but it’s part of the journey.
And in the end, it’s all worth it for the joy and love that comes with being a parent. So embrace the 80/20, pick up the slack when needed, and remember that together you can handle anything that comes your way.
One day your partner will be picking the slack up for you and the other way around.
Navigating A Relationship With A New Baby Isn’t Easy
But it is worth it.
Understanding that the first year of your baby’s life is going to be a very different, changing, and beautiful season for not only you as individual people. But as a couple.
Making consistent efforts to remember why you were together in the first place can be tough. Especially when you don’t even know what day of the week it is.
But I know you can do this. My baby is 8 months old and I am still having breakthroughs every day on how to be a better mum AND partner.