So what qualities actually make a good mother? Have you ever asked yourself this? I know as a mum of only 13 months so far, I have thought about it late at night.
Like what actually makes me a good mum?
Is it when I look like I have my life together? Or is it when I show all the qualities needed to create really cool kids, who one day are going to be a really cool adult.
Well, today we are going to talk about the qualities we should all be practising to be the best mums possible.
*Some links within this post may be affiliate links, meaning if you click on them I may make a commission off them. To all link clickers… thankyou <3*
What Is A Good Mother?
So what is a good mother, like forget what qualities make a good mother. What is a good mother…? Crickets?
A good mother tries, it is that simple. One who wants to make her kid’s lives even better than her own. She understands that without her, her kids have nothing.
So she prioritises becoming the best person possible whilst enriching and filling her kids’ lives with memories and love. That is all we can do as mothers.
That is what I think a good mother is. You know what’s magic. You can choose what a good mother looks like and then you can work towards it. For every situation, there are variables and know that if you are trying your best that is more than enough.
Can You Be A Good Mother All The Time?
The honest answer is not really. It is impossible to be good at anything all the time. I think understanding that we are all just trying our best is a good start.
If you are trying all the time your doing great. Motherhood is full of a lack of sleep, patience, and empathy, and your needs and wants are being put on the back burner.
This can be enough for anyone to end up burned, tidy, and grouchy. So if you are feeling like maybe you are doing a great job being a mother, maybe it is time to evaluate how you are feeling.
You can’t pour into your kid’s cups if your cup is empty. It is that simple. You can’t even pour into anyone else or yourself if you are constantly flapping an empty cup around that is something to remember.
Sometimes be a good mother you need to start with yourself.
How To Be A Good Mother
So I know that I can’t be a great mother all the time, but I can try! But how do I actually be a good mum? As well as feeling like I am a good mum!
The answer is pretty simple, it is probably why it is so tricky for so many of us. Simply trying is the biggest key to being a good mum.
Sometimes instead of trying to make it all seem perfect, we have to simply acknowledge it is imperfect and embrace that instead.
Then we can simply focus on being a better mum and our journey as a parent rather than anything else.
Absolutely! The journey to becoming a good mother is not about being perfect, but about continually learning, growing, and practising the qualities that contribute to good motherhood. It involves acknowledging imperfections and embracing the process of improvement.
Practice Makes Perfect
Another thing to consider is that anything in life you can get good at by practising. So knowing exactly what you need to do to become the best possible mother, means you can practice the qualities that will help you thrive in motherhood.
As mothers the best we can do is to keep making changes and trying to be better. Knowledge is power and so the more we learn the better we do.
So without a doubt let’s get into 20 qualities of good mothers that you can practice every day. Plus ways you can practice them. What qualities make a good mother? Let’s get into it.
These qualities are a good way to find growth in motherhood and your parenting journey and will make things easier and more enjoyable for you. So lets get into what qualities make a good mother?
Get 12 Steps Ahead
Sometimes being able to be a good mother means getting 12 steps ahead. I have always felt 12 steps behind and now I am using Notion to plan my life everything has changed.
I have a reading list that means I am constantly growing and bettering myself, with podcasts and books that are encourgaing my knowledge and learning as a person and a mum.
I keep it all in Notion! Including my journal which has been key to getting a better understanding of how I feel and why I feel like that. When you are thinking about what qualities make a good mother a good way to get to know yourself and practice those qualities is to get organised.
As well as having interlocked calendars and to-do lists. I have finally got ahead of all things in my life including motherhood and I actually couldn’t survive without it now! It is free to sign up with and super easy to use!
20 Qualities Of Good Mothers
These qualities are the 20 qualities of good mothers that are super helpful when you get well practised at them. Doing them without thinking is going to make your parenting far easier.
Reminding yourself of what qualities make a good mother in times of stress is going to help recentre yourself.
Calming
Your kiddos don’t have a very good pre-frontal cortex. So this means that their rational brain doesn’t work to the capability of ours as adults. This is why your kids think that not being able to have that lollipop is the end of the world.
Being a calming mother looks like being able to help settle your kids when they are in times of crisis. We as mothers have to be able to keep our brains switched on and quiet, especially when our kiddos are overstimulated. So being a calm mother looks like staying calm and helping our babies feel calm.
How to practice it
You can practice calmness in your day in so many ways!
- When your kiddos are overstimulated take some breaths together.
- Practice using quiet voices when you talking.
- Explain to your kids that you make the best choices when you are calm. Ask them what makes you feel calm?
Exciting
Your babies deserve to grow up excited about the world around them. So being able to foster excitement in your kids is a really great quality to have as a mother. Being able to teach your kids to be excited to learn and experience the world is so important.
Being able to foster excitement in your kids looks like teaching them to enjoy the simple things and the world around them. By fostering excitement in your kids with the simple things you are setting your kid up for a life of feeling satisfied with the small things.
How to practice it
Practice adding excitement into your days by:
- Show your kids something small like flowers on the sidewalk and explain how amazing it is they grow from seeds.
- Plan a trip or visit somewhere. Plan it together let them help make choices and build up the excitement.
- Make a list of exciting ideas and do some together.
- Talk about the things together you are excited for…
Confidence
Confidence for kids is going to be a super important life skill as they get older. Teaching kids confidence from a young age will stand them in good stead for life. As most of life, it just finding the confidence to give things a go.
Confidence looks like encouraging kids to have a try at new things and letting them know it is ok for things to not work out the first time. By teaching them they can do anything you are fostering confidence through a can-do attitude.
How to practice it
Practice confidence with your kids by:
- Encouraging them to try new things!
- Helping them get better at new skills and to look positively at new experiences.
Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence as a mum is super important. Being able to understand your own emotions and why we feel certain ways is a really important skill to have when dealing with kids. Kids often will not understand why they feel the way they do, so being able to figure out how they feel and then guide them to their own conclusions is the first step in them getting to know themselves.
Emotional intelligence comes with time and learning about ourselves. As we learn more about the ways we feel and how we can manage it our emotional intelligence grows. By teaching this to our kids they can learn quickly how to better manage themselves.
How to practice it
Ways to practice emotional intelligence with your kids:
- Ask them how they feel and why they feel that way?
- Talk about how you feel and why you feel that way.
- Discuss ways you can handle certain feelings.
Understanding
Understanding is a quality of great mums. Kids can take so much understanding sometimes. Being able to understand your kids can be tricky at the best of times. Being able to step back and figure out your kids is a really important quality.
When the world ends because your kid dropped their ice cream, being able to understand that it is the end of the world for them and not make them feel like their feelings aren’t valid is not easy. But teaching them to feel those feelings and find a solution is the best way forward.
How to practice it
Practice understanding with your kids:
- Help them understand why they feel the way I do.
- Find solutions for how they feel.
- Help them to understand the people and kids around them.
Patient
Patience is a huge task as a mum, because your patience is going to be tested time, and time, AND TIME again I promise! Mum, mum, mum. Your kids will find every way to bother you if possible! Practice your patience, it will stand you in good stead in every aspect of your life.
Patience looks like being able to keep your calm when you are cooking dinner, baby on your hip and your 4-year-old spills an old coffee off the table… Okay, maybe you don’t keep your cool. But the goal is to be able to be patient and manage stressful situations. That quality makes a good mother.
How to practice it
Practicing patience with your kids can look like this:
- Ask them to wait while you finish what you are doing.
- Explaining to them how important it is to be patient.
- Taking a breath and slowing down to demonstrate patience to them.
Good Speaker
A good speaker is a great quality to have as a mum! Being able to speak well, especially to your kiddos is super important. Being able to explain things so they understand is a super important quality for helping your babies learn and grow.
Being a good speaker means you can talk calmly and clearly in a way that your kids can understand. Being able to help them understand the world around them is such an important skill.
How to practice it
Practice speaking well with your kids by:
- Use a calm, clear and quiet voice with your kiddos.
- Reminding your kids that you can understand them best when they talk calmly.
- Work hard on explaining things to your kids so they understand, and ask them to repeat what you have told them to check they understand.
Down To Earth
Being down to earth is really important, kids are really simple. They don’t understand the concept of brands, money, status, or the world outside of food and play. So focusing on the simple things in life and really putting effort into being down to earth is a great quality to have as a mum.
Being down to earth is as simple as not sweating the small stuff. Understanding that things like looking perfect or coming across as perfect is not going to make you a better mum. Your kids will remember you playing with them and going for adventures not how clean and aesthetic your house was.
How to practice it
Practicing being down to earth could look like this:
- Being focused on creating memories rather than creating a perfect-looking life.
- Teach your kids not to sweat the small stuff.
- Dirt on your clothes doesn’t matter as long as you have had fun.
Pleased By Simple Things
Similar to the last one being pleased by the simple things is going to boost your ability to be a great mum. Especially for mums maybe who have had a really extensive career or life before kids. The change into motherhood can feel like a huge drop in productivity or success.
Being pleased by simple things can also be explained by finding the magic in the small things and romanticising life is really simple but so effective.
The qualities that make a good mum are all very simple to. The reality is that simplicity is key when it comes to so many things in life including parenting.
How to practice it
Practising enjoying the simple things could look like:
- Enjoying a quiet moment with your first sip of coffee in the morning.
- Laughing at the messes that unfold.
- Enjoy the simple things like nature, good music, and quiet moments.
Good Sense Of Humour
You totally have to have a good sense of humour when it comes to kids. Like the day my favourite three-year-old bought me the toilet water in her hands to show me! You have to laugh or you’ll cry, so finding a good sense of humour makes motherhood so much lighter.
A good sense of humour is crucial with kids. Kids never really go to plan, there is always something unexpected with them. Being able to laugh about it makes parenting far more enjoyable.
How to practice it
Practicing a good sense of humour could look like:
- Remember “There is no use crying over spilt milk.”
- When things go wrong teach your kids to laugh about it and then fix it.
- Whenever your kids are sad or angry, sometimes a good laugh can help them feel better. Be respectful that sometimes laughter won’t fix everything.
Empathetic
Empathy is an essential quality for a good mother. It allows a mother to understand and share the feelings of her child. This understanding is key in forming strong emotional bonds and promoting healthy emotional development in the child. When considering what qualities make a good mother empathy is a great one to practice.
An empathetic mother can perceive and relate to her child’s emotions, whether they are feelings of joy, sadness, frustration, or excitement. She validates these feelings, expressing understanding and offering comfort and guidance when necessary.
How to practice it
To practice empathy:
- Strive to truly listen when your child expresses their feelings.
- Acknowledge their emotions without judgement and reassure them that their feelings are important and valid.
- Also, model empathetic behaviour by expressing your own emotions openly and appropriately, and showing understanding towards the feelings of others.
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Respectful
A respectful mother values and regards her children’s feelings, thoughts, and expressions. She acknowledges her children’s individuality and treats them with dignity and consideration. Teaching your kids respect sets them up for life going forward. Respect builds mutual understanding and communication. It helps in creating a positive and safe environment for the child’s growth and development.
A respectful mother does not belittle her children or dismiss their feelings. She listens attentively to her children’s opinions and thoughts, respects their choices and encourages them to express themselves. By having someone in their corner you foster their confidence and encourage them to respect the world around them.
How to practice it
To practice respect:
- Avoid negative criticism, instead use constructive feedback. Don’t just tell them they are doing it wrong, explain how to do it right.
- Value your child’s perspective and give them opportunities to make decisions.
- Be polite and use a kind tone when you’re speaking to your kiddos, it goes a long way.
Resilient
Resilience is an incredibly valuable quality for a mother to possess. Life is full of challenges and setbacks, and parenting is no exception. A resilient mother can withstand these difficulties and bounce back stronger. She models for her children how to cope with adversity and stress healthily, teaching them a critical life skill for their own future challenges.
A resilient mother doesn’t allow setbacks to keep her down. She maintains a positive attitude, even in the face of adversity, and can recover from difficulties without lasting negative effects. Resilience also means adapting to changes and moving forward in the face of adversity. This is such a great quality to have and to teach to your babies.
How to practice it
To practice resilience:
- Face challenges with a positive attitude and see them as opportunities for growth. Talk to your kids about these things.
- Build strong relationships with your family, friends and community. Social support is a key factor in resilience. Teach your kids the importance of connection and having a village.
- Practice mindfulness and stress management techniques, such as meditation or yoga. These can be taught to your kiddos as simply deep breaths help us feel better.
Stable
Stability is a fundamental quality for a mother. It provides a sense of security and consistency for children, which is crucial for their emotional and psychological development. A stable mother can maintain a balanced lifestyle and emotional state, regardless of the circumstances. This teaches children the importance of emotional control and helps them feel safe and secure. Remember we are never perfect all the time.
A stable mother is consistent in her actions and emotions. She manages stress effectively and does not allow temporary situations to drastically affect her mood or behaviour. This stability is reflected in a steady family routine and a calm household environment. Even if you don’t feel stable all the time you can practice it.
How to practice it
To practice stability:
- Develop healthy coping mechanisms for stress, such as regular exercise, good nutrition, and adequate sleep.
- Maintain consistent routines for yourself and your children. This helps to provide a sense of order and predictability.
- Seek support from friends, family, or professionals if you’re feeling overwhelmed. It’s okay to ask for help when you need it.
Positive
Positivity is an essential quality for mothers. A positive outlook can make a significant difference in a child’s perception of the world and their place in it. It can also influence how they handle challenges and setbacks, and how they interact with others. Ya don’t wanna be a crazy positive Polly, but positivity in moderation has so many benefits. Teaching children to have a positive perspective encourages a healthy mindset that can serve them well in all aspects of life.
A positive mother sees the good in situations and people. She focuses on solutions rather than problems and encourages her children to do the same. She expresses gratitude for the things she has and teaches her children to appreciate the simple joys in life.
How to practice it
To practice positivity:
- Model a positive attitude in your daily life. Show your children how to find the good in every situation.
- Encourage your children to express gratitude daily. This could be as simple as discussing what you’re each thankful for at dinner each night.
- Help your children see the hard stuff as opportunities for growth. Discuss what can be learned from difficult situations and how they can be used to become stronger.
Forgiving
Being forgiving is a powerful quality for a mother. It helps in maintaining harmony in the family, as well as in teaching your children about empathy, understanding, and emotional intelligence. When asking what qualities make a good mother forgiveness is an important one.
A forgiving mother understands that everyone makes mistakes, and she doesn’t hold grudges. Instead, she uses these moments as opportunities to teach her children about apologizing and making amends. She also demonstrates how to let go of anger and resentment, which are crucial lessons for children’s emotional development.
How to practice it
- When your child makes a mistake, calmly explain what they did wrong and guide them on how to apologize.
- Accept your child’s apology sincerely, and reassure them that everyone makes mistakes.
- Practice forgiveness in your own relationships, and talk to your children about why forgiveness is important.
Humble
Why
Humility is an essential quality for a mother. It allows you to recognize your mistakes or shortcomings and work on them. It teaches your children that nobody is perfect, and it’s okay to make mistakes as long as we learn from them.
A humble mother doesn’t try to hide her mistakes. Instead, she admits them and uses them as teaching moments for her children. She doesn’t consider herself superior to others and treats everyone with respect. Teaching your kids that you do wrong as well is a great life skill for later. Knowing nobody is perfect is invaluable.
How to practice it
- When you make a mistake, admit it to your children and explain how you plan to correct it.
- Practice active listening with your children and others, showing them that everyone’s thoughts and opinions have value.
- Encourage your children to learn from others and grow from their experiences.
Adaptable
Adaptability is a key quality for a good mother. It allows you to respond effectively to the ever-changing needs of your children as they grow and develop. It also helps you deal with unexpected situations or challenges that arise in parenthood.
An adaptable mother is flexible and open to change. She understands that what worked at one stage of her child’s life may not work at another, and is ready to adjust her parenting strategies accordingly. She can go with the flow, adapting her plans and expectations based on the circumstances.
What qualities make a good mother had to include adaptability since our kids love to throw curveballs or more likely food at us on a daily basis!
How to practice it
- Be open to change and willing to adjust your parenting strategies as your child grows and their needs change.
- Respond positively to unexpected situations or changes in plans. Show your children that it’s okay when things don’t go as planned.
- Encourage your children to be adaptable too. Discuss with them the importance of flexibility and resilience in life.
Able To Listen
Good Listener
Why
Being a good listener is a crucial quality for a mother. It demonstrates to your children that their thoughts, feelings, and expressions are important and valued. It encourages open communication and helps build a strong relationship with your children.
A good listener actively pays attention to what her children are saying, without interrupting or rushing them. It isn’t always easy to slow down and listen to them! She shows interest in their topics and asks follow-up questions to further understand their thoughts. We have to learn to respond well to, offering advice, comfort, or encouragement as needed.
How to practice it
- Be fully present when your child is talking. Avoid distractions and give them your full attention.
- Show interest in what they’re saying. Ask follow-up questions and respond thoughtfully.
- Encourage your children to express their feelings and thoughts. Let them know that you’re always there to listen.
Role Model / Someone To Look Up To
Being a role model or someone to look up to is an important characteristic of a good mother. This doesn’t mean being perfect. In fact, it’s the mother’s imperfections, and how she handles them, that often hold the most valuable lessons for children.
When children see their mothers making mistakes, picking themselves back up, and continuing to strive for improvement, they learn resilience, perseverance, and the value of self-improvement.
A mother who is a role model leads by example. She embodies the values she hopes to instil in her children, such as kindness, honesty, hard work, and respect for others. What qualities make a good mother that makes you a good role model?
She is not afraid to show her vulnerabilities and admits her mistakes. She consistently strives to better herself and handles life’s ups and downs with grace. You can be that mother. Don’t doubt it.
The best thing you can be as a mother is real.
How to practice it
- Be consistent in your actions. Your children are always watching, so make sure your actions match your words.
- Admit your mistakes and show your children how you learn and grow from them.
- Share your successes and challenges with your children. This will show them that everyone, even adults, has both strengths and areas for improvement.
So What Are Qualities Of A Good Mother?
So now you know the qualities of not only a good mother but a great one. If you are here reading this post and expanding your knowledge. Especially so that your kids benefit you are already a great mother!
The best thing you can do as a mother is real, honest, and constantly trying to better the lives of your kids. If you can do that you are doing all the right things. Remind yourself what are the qualities of a good mother. Am I using them?
So now you can practice those qualities and reward yourself when you notice yourself doing them! Remember you can’t be a good mum 100% of the time and that is ok.
Pick two to focus on, to begin with, then as they become second nature. Pick another two! In no time you will be well-practiced in all the wonderful qualities a mother can have.
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