Before you get pregnant you need to think about these things!
You want to start a family eh?
Whether you are already pregnant, trying to get pregnant or considering getting pregnant here is 5 things I wish I knew before pregnancy!
1. Before you get pregnant… are you prepared to possibly be ‘unwell’ for 9-10 months?
I say this as kindly as possible! For some pregnancy is a totally magical time the whole way through.
For others pregnancy is a mix of extreme exhaustion, vomiting, food aversions, food cravings, more vomiting, ligament pains, say bye to bladder control, mood swings, sciatic nerve pain and oh more vomiting.
I promise when I tell you that small list of minor inconveniences, I’m not trying to put you off! If you just got a big promotion at work where you work hard physically everyday then maybe now isn’t the time!
Cause till your pregnant you won’t know where you will fit in and whether you might even have any symptoms at all.
The though of adding a baby to your family is a wonderful beautiful thing but sometimes we forget the hard work mummas have to do to get to that beautiful baby!
Before you get pregnant you need to consider the changes that may come with that!
Make sure (if you get the choice) that you pick a time in your life that is going to be right for you. If you don’t get the choice that’s life saying “now is the time” I guess!
2. Are you ready to have limited time to ‘yourself’ for the next… oh 20 years and on…?
Babies are gorgeous in the early days, a lot of work for sure but I’m sure they make up for this with those cute wee faces… (I will update you in December).
Before you get pregnant consider this… a child is for life, they are going to live a lot longer than your cat or dog and it will be the most challenging yet rewarding process possibly in your life. Talking to mums, to friends and anyone with kids and babies; they always say prepare yourself for the limited time alone you will have.
I think I would like to say your kid will depend on you for the next 18 years of its life. I know this not to be true, your kids continue to depend on you for advice for help and for parenting until the day you die just in a different way later on. My partner was actually the one who made this point the other day.
Once you take on that title of ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ that is it! You are a parent until the day you die. That title never leaves, I feel there is something bittersweet about that and the way it changes over the years.
The initial time postpartum when baby is most fragile and will require the most care it is important to consider that your baby will NEED you. ALL. THE. TIME.
3. Before you get pregnant… are you ready to load the car with baby, capsule, nappy bag, pram and baby every time you just want to pop to the supermarket?
Little ones come with their fair share of ‘accessories’ that ensure their safety and comfort and generally try to make life easier for you! But the process of bag, wallet and car keys, before you head to the supermarket is going to change in a big way.
Similar to coming to terms with the fact alone time isn’t on your terms any more with a new baby in the house, realizing that your lifestyle is going to change with your little tag along in tow is super important.
Like a little bum buddy they have to be everywhere with you.. can’t quite leave them home like the cat! As well as having to purchase all the ‘baby accessories’ your telling me I am going to have to lug them everywhere?
That is pretty much it! Being realistic and considering these changes before you get pregnant, and bubs arrives is important, it will help you adjust easier and stop the shock that comes similarly to jumping into a cold pool on a hot day!
Knowing what might change and how you might like to change it before it happens may help with some of that insomnia you start getting when you realize for example…. I am having a baby in 14 WEEKS!!!!!
Feel free to grab our first trimester checklist! It is a total need to get you through anything you may face in the first part of your pregnancy!
4. Who is staying home to care for your baby? Are you both going to work and use child care a little later on? How much leave would the stay at home parent like?
These are questions for both you and your partner! Or if its just you then just you! When the baby comes having a relaxed ‘plan’ is important. I stay relaxed as no plans are really plans once the baby arrives.. the baby will decide for you :)! Setting expectation early on about parenting;
How you intend to tackle things?
Will you have a stay at home parent?
Will you both be working parents?
How will you survive financially?
What time will the non birthing partner take off when baby has just been born?
Chatting about these things between you ensures you have adequately planned what expectations there might be surrounding your parenting journey especially if there’s two of you who need to work as a team.
Chatting about expectations after birth is important. Especially if your having a c-section as plenty of people may not know how that can change what your capable of moving/housework wise.
Making sure your partner knows what it may be like can stop feelings of ‘are they taking advantage of me?’. There will be all sorts of feelings flying around and the best way to manage is to just communicate.
If for the first few nights you would love if your partner could bring you the baby to feed when they cry then ask them! It is super simple and will help you guys find your groove in those early days!
Make sure even during your pregnancy you chat lots about all the things you are excited for and everything you may be nervous for !
“A baby makes love stronger, the days shorter, the nights longer, savings smaller and a home happier.”Unknown
5. Before you get pregnant… are you ready to love something more than you love anything else?
The love for your own baby is like nothing else in the world and demands, patience, tolerance, love and a whole lot of work!
As a kid even when we had done something to disappoint mum she always reminded us she loved us. Now she needed time to think about what we had done. This is one of the many things I will be taking from my mum and using with my own kids.
Ensuring your child always knows how loved they are and that they CAN talk to you about anything is going to allow for a healthy relationship even when they do things that might not be so admirable.
It is important to realize you will find a love in yourself that will be different to what you know now.
It also may change your love with your partner or family or anything but if you allow it to change it in wonderful ways it can be a truly beautiful thing!
Considering everything to come for you is a really important part of preparing for adding a baby to your life and to your family!
To conclude remember adding a baby to your life is a big change for sure! But with consideration of a lot of things you can help yourself adapt better when the time comes!
I feel it is important to remember that no matter how much you have in savings. If you own a house or not, if you have all brand new gear or all secondhand.
When your baby comes into the world for the first time we are all in the same boat. Remember go easy on yourself!
Enjoy those little quiet moments a little bit more and never be afraid to ask questions and create ‘relaxed’ plans! They may just help you sleep better in the days coming up to your baby’s arrival!
I trust this gave you some things to think about and I wish baby dust on you wherever you are in your starting a family journey!