Managing visitors when you have a newborn can be a tricky balance in the early days of a new baby.
This post goes through important things to know and remember when managing visitors in the early days. Plus letting go of guilt and putting self-care first…
It can be hard to know what to do when managing visitors in the early days of your baby’s life and this post is going to help you!
Having a newborn is one of the most exciting, challenging times in a person’s life…
Making sure you take care of yourself in the early days is a huge priority, if mum isn’t good it is very hard to take care of her new baby! Don’t forget that…
Without more rambling let’s get into the 5 things you must know about managing visitors with a newborn…
If you have had a c-section, make sure to check out our C-section recovery series to see what you need to expect!
Visitors when you have a newborn… must know #1
Set an expectation before your baby arrives!
So when the baby arrives you will feel it non-stop. That is just what it is like in the early days of a new baby…
In preparation for that it is totally ok for you to put a post out on your Facebook. Or send a message to the people who may be around in the early days of your new baby’s life.
For example, this is what we put out before we had our baby.
*Posted To Both Of Our Facebooks*
“As most of you know it’s our due date this week, we would like to ask everyone to respect our privacy during this time
Our phones will be on throughout labor but we may not send messages or send updates constantly as we don’t quite know what to expect throughout labor.
We are planning to enjoy a few hours with little bean before we tell anyone about her arrival, we just want to soak in those first cuddles and love.
If you have the pleasure of knowing we have had our little bean, we ask you to allow us to announce her arrival in our own time, we know you are all excited just as much as we are, and to the people closest to us you will be invited to come to see us at the hospital
When we are at home please allow us to settle into a family of 4, not only me and Jorg but Molly (our cat) as well, this means if you want to visit us at home please send us a message and wait for a response before just rocking up, we would prefer a text over a call to allow us to sleep and reply when we are ready especially on the rough days
Most importantly please don’t visit if you are sick or have been around someone that is, babies are precious and it’s not worth getting her sick just for a little cuddle, we know you all are excited to meet her but please think about her health and wellbeing.
Being grateful for people respecting our wishes…
We are so grateful that you understand our wishes. We look forward to catching up with you all as time goes on and introducing our wee bean to you. This will allow us to settle into life as a family of 4. Lots of Love from Cade and Jorg.”
Our post was received super well. We had set all our needs so if anyone challenged them it was easy to say hey we put this out from the start!
You could talk about time limiting your visits or that you aren’t going to have visitors for your partner’s time off etc.
The biggest thing to remember is this is such a special time you can have it however you like, no one else matters except you and your little family! <3
Visitors with a newborn… must know #2:
You have to remember this important thing too!
I know it is so exciting to want to share your baby with everyone, but during this time you are doing so much healing and growing…
It is really important to remember that to be a good mum, to feel like a good mum you need to try to keep your cup as full as possible…
If you have had a rough night with limited sleep and are tired or sore, it is 110% ok to say you aren’t up for the planned visit or visits of the day.
The good people in your life will understand… it is important to remind yourself of that.
“Those who mind don’t matter, those who matter won’t mind…”Dr. Seuss
Those early days are so precious and they will be gone in no time, make the most of them with those people that matter.
It takes time and adjustment for you both as new parents too, I think becoming a parent will bring out both the toughest and softest side of you. It brings out confidence and insecurities and it is up to you what you choose to foster.
Realizing that sometimes visitors can add to your stress when you are trying to figure out a new family dynamic is important.
Must know #3
No one is entitled to your baby.
I am going to say it again, no one is entitled to your baby… If your baby is asleep and someone turns up without having messaged or anything like that first.
It is perfectly ok for you to say no it would be better for you to come another time!
Especially if you have gone and set the expectation that it is important to message first!
You will know very quickly in the early days that sleep and rest and food are beyond precious and you will find yourself doing anything to protect that.
That is more than ok!
Visitors When You Have A newborn… Must Knows #4
Time limit visits…
If you need to have a nap or if you need to feed and bathe baby, don’t ever be afraid to say hey your welcome to come to visit but only till this time…
If your baby is in a routine there is no point messing up a good thing for a visit!
Even you can preset your expectations that hey yeah sure you can come just know I bath baby at this time or I have dinner at this time!
Generally, the really great people in your life will offer to help you out with some washing, they may even bring a meal! Make sure you thank those people heap they are important!
Must Know #5
Ask people for help!
That Dr. Seuss quote we talked about earlier… those people who matter will be super willing to help you.
Don’t ever be afraid to ask for help with your washing, making dinner, with some dishes, or vacuuming.
Those people will be more than willing to help you during this time when sleep is of the essence.
When a baby sleeps you should sleep is the advice you will be given… Sleep AS SOON as they sleep is how it really should be…
Trust me you just do the dishes and they will be awake when you are done.
The people who are there for you will be willing to help and get those chores done so you can focus on eating and drinking, feeding, and of course sleeping.
Utilize a chance to have someone else hold bub for you too!
In the early days when your baby needs your warmth and comfort the most sometimes a half an hour break even a 10-minute break from holding them is heaven, simply to share the love!
Remember: It doesn’t make you a bad mum it makes you human!
Those important people truly are the best help during this time, make sure you have plenty of freezer space to…
Little squishy newborn…
How Long Should Grandma Stay?
Now the family is the tricky bit when managing visitors with a newborn! The biggest thing to remember as we have stressed within this post.
In the early days of having a baby, you want people around who are going to fill your cup! People who will help and not hinder and people who are going to make your life a lot easier.
In all honesty, it is a common question when should a family visit after birth?
The only person who can answer that question is you! It will depend on how you feel, what your family dynamic is like, and how they have been throughout your pregnancy.
What Is Your Mother Or Mother In Law Like?
Having your mum or mother-in-law around after giving birth can be a positive experience if they are helpful individuals.
Their assistance can make the transition into motherhood smoother and less stressful. It is important to have a support system during this time and having someone experienced and caring can be a great help.
But on the other hand… if they are a not so helpful individual, you have to make tough decisions for yourself and your baby in the early days.
Are They Safe For Your Baby?
As cruel as it may sound in the early days your brand-new baby is vulnerable. So making hard choices is important to protect them.
Newborns are extremely vulnerable and require special attention and care. Their immune systems are not fully developed, making them more susceptible to infections and illnesses.
They also have delicate skin that is easily irritated and can lead to rashes or infections. It is important to handle newborns gently and ensure they are always kept clean and dry.
Additionally, newborns should be kept away from anyone who is sick or has recently been exposed to illness.
Remember, taking extra precautions and providing proper care can help ensure the health and well-being of newborns.
People who smoke or work in places with chemicals or abrasive substances will know and will be happy to oblige with a simple shower and brush their teeth!
For your new baby, you must make sure you make these rules clear!
Will They Be More Of A Help Or A Hinderance?
Again is so important to consider the person you are inviting to meet your baby and whether they will be a help or a hindrance.
In the early days, one unhelpful person can rock the boat for not only you and your baby but sometimes you and your partner too.
You always want to be looking to make life easier for you guys! Those first few weeks are the most amazing yet challenging times possibly in your whole life.
Can You Make It Easier For Them Beforehand?
Another thing to think about if you have a very helpful family or even friends in your life… is to make a list before babies are born!
You might get some of these things done yourself but anything else they may offer to help with. It can be a great idea which your new mum fried brains to have a wee reminder!
I say this with reason… I’ll be honest a 5-page spring cleaning list may not go down too well.
But cleaning the oven or spraying out your bins can be super helpful if that is what you need!
Plus it helps them by being clear, which can be tricky to do in your early days!
Are They Open With Their Views On Parenthood?
This can be an important one, if you have people who are going to consistently be undermining you they aren’t the best people to have around in the early days.
Sometimes those early days may feel like you are fumbling around in the dark. When you bump into something and hit your toes, you don’t need someone saying…
“Oi, you have hit your toes…”
Choosing people who are open about your choice in parenting and what you use with your baby is so important!
You want people who are going to uplift and support you!
Visitors When You Have A Newborn… What Should The Rules Be?
The biggest thing to remember is there is no ‘should’ about it. Choosing to have visitors is up to you and it is completely within your right to choose who and when your baby is visited by!
When learning to parent it is natural to be more cautious in your early days. Especially when you are in the know about your baby’s immune system not being ready to fight the big bugs yet.
The rules you choose to follow for your baby are all your choice and will be respected by all those important to you!
When ‘Should’ Family Visit After Birth?
Family can visit any time that you choose for them to visit. It is important to set your expectations early.
Then there are no arguments from the family saying they didn’t expect it! It is very important to make sure everyone’s in the loop, but also sometimes it comes down to people just respecting your wishes.
Covid Newborn Visiting Rules?
Due to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, if there are lots of cases in your area the recommendations are as follows…
Certain rules and restrictions are in place for visitors of newborns. It is recommended that only immediate family members visit the newborn and that they wear masks and practice good hand hygiene.
Visitors who are feeling unwell or have been in contact with someone who has tested positive for COVID-19 should not visit the newborn.
Additionally, visitors should avoid physical contact with the newborn, such as kissing or holding them, to reduce the risk of transmission.
These guidelines are in place to protect the health and safety of both newborns and their visitors. Covid can be dangerous for newborns your best bet is to protect them from the get-go.
Are they healthy?
Making sure no one who is going to visit your baby is unwell or has been unwell in the last week or so is important. Visitors when you have a newborn doesn’t have to be stressful.
Until your baby hits that 6-week mark they truly have no protection and its system is working hard to fight any bugs it comes into contact with.
Help them out and make sure to keep anyone unwell away!
Someone Who Smokes… What Do You Do?
If you have someone who smokes who you still really want to meet your baby have a chat with them about what they need to do.
Smokers need to shower and brush their teeth before meeting newborns. This is because the chemicals and toxins from smoking can be harmful to the baby’s delicate respiratory system.
Taking these precautions can help reduce the risk of exposing the newborn to secondhand smoke and potential health complications.
Those special people won’t mind!
Personal Preference Is Key…
Choosing who visits your newborn is a personal preference. As a parent, you have the right to decide who gets to see your baby.
It is important to consider the health and safety of your child, as well as your comfort level. Some parents may choose to limit visitors to immediate family members.
While others may welcome close friends and extended family. Ultimately, the decision is yours and should be based on what you feel is best for your family.
Prevention Is Better Than Cure!
Prevention is crucial for newborns as their immune systems are not fully developed.
Simple steps such as washing hands before handling the baby, keeping the baby away from sick people, and ensuring all vaccinations are up to date can significantly reduce the risk of infections.
Breastfeeding also provides essential antibodies to the baby. This means having people who aren’t going to make a breastfeeding mum feel uncomfortable are really important.
It is important to take preventive measures to avoid potential health risks for newborns.
Visitors When You Have A Newborn Finish…
That is all our most important tips on how to manage visitors with a newborn!
You have now got the skills and information you need to make calculated decisions when it comes to who visits your baby and who doesn’t.
It is important to make the best choices for your family and baby, always remember you are your baby’s advocate.
It is so important for you to stick up for their health when they can’t, plus no one like a sick baby.
A sick baby can = less sleep and we all need… MORE sleep!
Don’t forget to grab our FREE first trimester ebook, its full of value and actionable advice…